Tag Archives: rest

Snow Day

I tried to make it to work today, really.

I left 20 minutes earlier than normal and was honestly driving about 20 miles an hour. Even though many cars were having some trouble, I thought, “I can do this.” I thought this right up to three minutes into my drive. My normal route was completely blocked due to a wreck and several cars swerving hopelessly on the ice.

As I turned around, I realized my car would not be so lucky to make it back without swerving around like the rest of them. Half an hour passed as I turned my wheels this way and that way, trying to gain enough traction to move. While trying to coax my car into movement, a jeep came careening backward, right toward my front bumper. “Oh crap,” I thought.

Fortunately, I was able to swerve right out of the way … just in time. Shortly after this, my car realized it’s power and moved forward, upward toward home. An hour later, I was back home.

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So far I’ve done up my hair and make-up, tried on several different outfits, had my own impromptu photo shoot (which included a trip outside in my big winter parka) and had some down time filled with music and reflection.

This reflection has led to much brainstorming: first, what a year this has been…I’m excited to reflect completely and set some new goals for 2013; second, I am so thankful for all the beauty and grace every moment brings. Sometimes beauty comes in the form of bitter, sometimes it’s more obvious like falling snow. Also, I think, like the Grinch, my heart has grown three sizes today realizing how much I really do enjoy people. I often like to be alone, but oh how I enjoy being surrounded by such wonderful, different and interesting people.

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Bitter

I know we should value every moment, but I’m left feeling like I want nothing more than the beginning of January. I feel so jaded about the world’s approach to Christmas. We drew names at Thanksgiving for a Christmas gift exchange. I don’t even want to think about spending money on a gift. I don’t want to have to stress about buying gifts for people that don’t need them or to pretend like gift giving is what matters.

I am done caring about my job, and tired of showing up every week faking it. I miss working with kids. At least they are authentic. Most haven’t been bitten by the bitter of life.

I know this is a sour post, but I want room to be sour. I want to be able to frown and cry if I feel it. I want to be real, even if real is ugly.

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