Category Archives: goals

On Fitness

I told you there would be more.

Fitness has always been a part of my life. As a child I was involved in many team sports. My father is a Track and Field Coach at KU. I’ve had various workout buddies and the desire to be active and moving makes up a substantial part of me. Etc, etc.

It seemed about right that I would find the Beachbody opportunity worthwhile. I was able to order a challenging workout and begin to transform my body and my health. Along the way I’ve met so many other like-minded people and even inspired others to chase after their own health and fitness. It’s been a hobby for now that’s kept me sane amidst my freakishly-busy life.

As we are nearing the end of 2014, I’m ready to push to make this hobby a career – because I can, and I want to, and why shouldn’t I achieve the passions embedded deep down in me? I’ve seen so many others take this part-time opportunity and make it life-changing. WHY NOT ME?

success

Please stay posted on my “To Be Healthy” page for updates on the pursuit of fitness (and health).

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Moving (on)…

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So now I rededicate this blog to adventure, whether that maybe real, tangible adventure or the soul adventure this life has us riding. I feel I keep chasing different styles and goals, but now I’ll make it clear.

I received the news I hoped to hear (after what seemed like years, ok, eight days…) and I am overjoyed to step forward toward the unknown and super exciting.

Many details need to be sorted, but very soon my love and I will get a chance at newness: new places, faces and experiences.

Stay tuned for what is next! (Stay alert for another secret blog as well)

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What’s in a name?

Life events overlap sometimes. Common themes began to appear. A friend called it synchronicity.

Either way, I’ve found the dilemma is not knowing what to write about, rather, owning what I write. I hold back because I don’t want friends or family to knit my writing to me, to draw conclusions about me because of what I have written, or to be disillusioned by what they comprehend.

One by one, lots of happenings began pointing me toward something that would allow me the freedom to bleed: a mask, a name, a pen name.

Man is least himself when he talks in his own person. Give him a mask and he will tell you the truth. -Oscar Wilde

Dr. Suess; Mark Twain; William Shakesphere; George Orwell; Pablo Neruda; Voltaire – to name a few famous pens. Now to creating my own. What an adventure this will be!

 

 

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Motionless

I really thought today would be better. I thought I’d be smarter, more confident, more motivated.

I woke up wrestling the same demons that plagued me days before. Right now, as I reflect, I’m trying to draw out what has been helpful these past two months. I’m also been weeding out what has been hurtful.

I’m so thankful for a husband who allows me reflect and recuperate. During all of this “sabbatical” he’s willingly slaved away so we could still survive. He is truly one of a kind.

Also, I’ve realized a month away from busy and obligated is probably the most helpful time frame. Now that I’m counting down month two of not working so hard, I’m to the lazy, apathetic stage. What once had a purpose is now very much irrelevant. Yes, one month is healthy. Any more than one month is just plain lethargic.

I have a few money-making opportunities in the works. I am also waiting to see whether or not my efforts toward a certain something have been in vain. My gut tells me no way. My impatience fills me with doubt. Soon, this waiting game will be over…

 

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Transition

I’ve transitioned from extremely free to extremely busy in a matter of days. Maybe extremely busy is an exaggeration; however, I now have plenty to fill my days and I am relieved to not be overly-stressed with a 40-hour a week commitment on top of everything else.

In the third week of the new year, I began my Masters course: Classroom Discipline and Motivation. With the possibility of teaching beginning as early as this fall, I am pretty thrilled to learn a few classroom motivation secrets. I am also preparing for an interview in Nashville on February 9th; and wait, there’s more, I’ve been studying for the ESL Praxis (and will take this next week, ahh!) My stomach is nervous, which means I’m not as relaxed as before, but that’s okay.

I’ve picked up a few sub opportunities here and there, but for the most part I’m leaning on my wonderfully, amazing man.

Finally, amidst the new found busy I do not want to forget to make the space for relaxation, tranquility and a stillness before the Lord. (It’s all for Him, about Him, because of Him).

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2013

Fresh. New. Possibility. Adventure. Alive.

I can almost feel these words as I think them. The psychological and ideological approach to the new year is not new, nor is it realistic, but it sure is fun. It’s fun to imaginatively pack up 2012. A memory just the right size to put in that box over there and, here, this one will fit too. That one memory gets shoved into the “never again box.” The NA box will be thrown out completely, burned, and hopefully we’ll lose sight of the ashes.

On NYE we construct new boxes. We fold them just right, we decorate them too. These boxes are created in the form of wishes, dreams and resolutions. These boxes are always much better than the used, sometimes ugly boxes of the years past. I realize I’m a day or so late in constructing my own box for the new year, but I wasn’t feeling the drive to create until now.

Mine is far more abstract than it has ever been before. The rules which dictated my dos and don’ts are loosely embraced this year. I’ve flung aside the brown cardboard that told me exactly how my experiences should appear and exactly what I will do to create them. This year’s ideas are merely suggestions.

Some suggestions I will paint on the outside of the box include: creatively existing, less do-ing/ more experiencing, a transition into better health, allowing myself to live by my own advice and learning to feed my soul.

Near the close of 2012, I shed the thought that my life had to seem a certain way. I too sensitively listened to everyone’s plans and thought I had to have my very own plan (and it had to look like every other plan). Sometimes my life will look radically different than anyone I can name, and that is OK. This epiphany birthed the choice to quit my job and purposefully not focus on the inevitable question of, “what’s next?” This decision has ignited so much feeling of freedom within my being. This decision has allowed me to entertain the world of possibility that lies ahead. I don’t want to be slave to the “have-tos” and I am embracing the “want-tos” and the “wouldn’t it be amazings?”

I know this year will be chalked-full of adventure and I cannot wait to share the “what’s next?” as it evolves into existence.

Here’s to a less complicated and more holistic new year. CHEERS.

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What do I desire?

Hi.

Perhaps the grandest of adventures is in the making. My loans will soon be paid (well, we’ve paid four in one year. I am extremely STOKED about this) and my full time job will be no longer as of December 28th. It’s funny. I wanted full-time work so badly and now I’m running as fast as I can toward change. I believe I served at CFCA for the appropriate allotted time. As mentioned previously, I successfully depleted four different student loans with one remaining. My attitude toward the final loan is to not focus on it, let it disappear more naturally. I’ve learned a great deal about working in the non-profit world. It truly is fulfilling, but so are many other things. I know I can do anything I would like to do. Some things may take more time and effort, but it’s the risk I’d take given wanting to do that particular thing.

What is my dream job? I’m not really sure. My Facebook news feed provided me with the most interesting video.

What would I do if money didn’t matter? It’s so hard to say…we are so trained to search for something that earns us money, not fulfillment. But how do we pay the bills if what we want to do doesn’t currently earn us anything? It’s really a hard, heartless, vicious cycle.

I want to write. I want to travel. Could I become a travel-writer? My current worldly answer is…I can teach. Only sometimes am I passionate about teaching; however the answer is acceptable and the pay check is real, not imaginary. Would I love it? Probably not…would I enjoy it? Yes, sometimes.

Right now, my husband and I are looking for work in Nashville and Chicago. I’d like to move. I’d like to do something interesting and mobile before I’m 30.

Perhaps it’s all so overrated. Thoughts?

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Dance

If I could do absolutely anything ever, I would be a professional dancer.

I’m 27 now and I’ve had people tell me, “yeah you can take dance classes at any age, but you are too old to dance competitively.”

Now, I am not aware of all that is required of a professional dancer, but from the outside looking in…it seems simply glamorous.

Le sigh.

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The Me Behind Me

What is standing in the way of what (or who) you want to be?

I reflect on this question often. When I feel discouraged, or when I feel like I can offer so much more.

What is in the way? What are my obstacles? 

I want to dream. I want to live. I want to accomplish and adventure.

But what is in the way? 

Usually the answer is simple (and simultaneously incredibly complex).

I am in the way.

In the form of an excuse or a higher priority. I am in the way.

I am self-motivated. I’ve pushed hard in order to achieve, but there are still accomplishments I’ve (so far) deemed beyond my grasp. I am in the way.

So…logically…I need to move.

Step one: create a bucket list…(which is in progress – here).

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