glennon doyle melton once said in response to the question, “how do you survive divorce?” – “you don’t.”
“you die and become brand new”
i’m to the point now the rerouting is not something i mention. people still ask, “why the sudden move to colorado?” and that’s when i dig into the past, pull out a few index cards with bullet points reminding me, “oh yeah, my life was in crisis & this was the perfect place to rebuild”
a few days from now would have been our wedding anniversary – 8 years – which in the big picture, is not so much time.
last year, i spent the day in Spain. as far away as possible, drowning out what was with new experiences and memories.
how often must we let go of the imaginary? the what could have or would have?
am i still sad?
will i always be sad, underneath?
sometimes i just cry. i have to let this wave of grief roll through my body.